恋は甘くて苦い

[xanithofdragons]

I was reading a post the other day about non-sexual intimacies, and the first whole paragraph touched on some big parts of what bothers me about a lot of romance writing in fiction really perfectly. Too often, the writers focus overly much on romantic relationships while underdeveloping non-romantic relationships, or just seem to throw together the lead female character and the lead male character without considering compatibility or thinking about how their relationship would go after the story ends or even properly developing romantic feelings between them. It leaves me asking why they had them fall in love rather than leaving them as coworkers or partners or friends. It's bad writing and heteronormative too.

After reading that, I thought about listing some jdrama I've seen that had (what I think are) good non-romantic relationships between girls/women and boys/men.

Freeter, Ie wo Kau
The relationship between Seiji and his mother is such a huge part of this drama. Seiji's concern for his mother in particular becomes a huge motivating factor for him and his mother's encouragement helps him to turn his life around. Seiji's relationship with his father is equally important, but it sort of becomes about the trio of mother-father-son, with the mother trying to get Seiji and his father get along better and Seiji trying to get his father to help more with the mother's mental illness.

Ghost Mama Sousasen
This is another drama that focuses pretty heavily on the relationship between mother and son, since Choko stays in the world as a ghost out of worry for Tonbo.

IS
It helps that the subject matter of IS already lends itself to challenging assumptions about sex and gender, but I really liked the friendship between Haru and Miwako, and how getting to know Haru saved Miwako in a lot of ways. The different ways they saw their identities and handled similar issues contrasted their personalities well (and also hinted at the very different home situations they were brought up in.)

Kakushou
Hagio and Takeda's relationship was pretty standard for partners in a police drama, but I liked how early on in the series, Hagio talks with some of the other detectives about not knowing how to interact with a young woman as a partner, kind of like the drama was touching on her gender without making it overshadow other aspects of her character. It's like they were saying, yes her gender affects their relationship, but her age and her career ambitions and her background also affect their relationship just as much.

Legal High
Mayuzumi and Komikado's relationship is part boss/employee and part mentor/mentee. This one almost wouldn't make it on the list since there are some other characters who hint at or ask about romantic potential between them, but that doesn't really fit their relationship. The clash between Mayuzumi's optimistic outlook and Komikado's cynical outlook and the way Mayuzumi keeps arguing with and fighting against Komikado make this drama great. It's also really nice how Komikado slowly starts to respect her even while he avoids admitting it and realizes how Mayuzumi's style can help in a trial and figures out how to use it.

Are there any jdramas (or other works of fiction) that had a non-romantic relationship between a man and a woman that you really liked?

Comments

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with basically everything you said, and I'm really grateful for this list! I basically don't watch dramas unless I have a really good reason because I generally hate the way that romance is handled in the media for all the reasons that you said, so it's great to know this sort of thing beforehand from someone who really understands.

I don't know if you're familiar with it or watched it, but I personally really like the way they handle male/female friendships in Shiritsu Bakaleya Koukou. It was a low-budget late night drama, so of course the plot and stuff leave some room for improvement, but while the characters are basically all dumb 16 year olds dealing with feelings, the main female character and main male character have a friendship that the main female character values despite that she has an unrequited crush on him. I think it does a good job of showing her recognizing it's just a crush and accepting that she cares more about being friends with him and respects him as a person, rather than getting carried away by how horrible ~unrequited love is. The show also has a secondary male character who falls for the main female, who of course doesn't like him back, and what really makes me happy is that when he engages in potentially abusive behaviours towards her (trying to guilt her into things, etc), she shuts him down immediately and tries to emphasize that she values his friendship but isn't going to take any crap. The whole drama does rely on a lot of stereotypes (though mostly class-related ones), but I also think that it does a really good job of breaking them through the course of the drama, and address issues like sexism, classism, bullying, suicide, and gender issues. It's the first drama I've ever seen where the main point was that girls and boys can be friends without romantic attachments, and aren't necessarily inherently ~different despite gender. It also has the plus of passing the Bechdel test in the first episode!

[xanithofdragons.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the way a lot of media handles romance makes me really excited when I read or watch something that has little to no romance in it. It's not that I dislike stories about romance, but that I've gotten so burnt out by the problematic and often just plain bad romance writing.

I'd actually been avoiding Shiritsu Bakaleya Koukou but the way you've described it makes me a lot more interested in it. (Since previously my only interest in it would be because it has a bunch of Johnny's in it.) It frustrates me so much that there are so many people who honestly believe that (straight) girls and boys can't be friends without romantic interest on one side or the other because it makes me really worried about their interactions with people of the opposite sex in any relationship. And then they put awkward pressure on people who are perfectly happy in their friendships, too.

Speaking of the Bechdel test, I was also thinking about making a list of dramas with female friendships I liked a lot.

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

I feel like you're reading my mind. XD I feel exactly the same way, except I'm not a huge fan of romance as it is (I like it better as something on the side, not something guiding the plot or all the decisions the characters make), so then when it's a huge ordeal of problematic, sexist crap, I really can't deal. It's one of the main reasons I avoid the mainstream media (both Japanese dramas and American TV shows), and I've had far too many good shows ruined for me halfway through when suddenly romance makes everyone behave crazily.

Shiritsu Bakaleya Koukou is actually my favourite drama, hands down, and the singular least sexist drama I've ever seen. It's actually probably one of the least problematic fictional TV shows I've ever seen, in any country. I don't want to sing the praises too highly since if you see it differently than me, then you'll only be disappointed, but what I took away from it was that the main message was one of friendship and tolerance, that friendship is more important than romance drama or interpersonal differences in background, preference, or personality, and that if you try to be open-minded, your horizons will be broadened and you might learn and grow as a person. I really like the way it handles what most dramas would turn into something awful, so I really would highly recommend it.

It frustrates me so much that there are so many people who honestly believe that (straight) girls and boys can't be friends without romantic interest on one side or the other because it makes me really worried about their interactions with people of the opposite sex in any relationship. And then they put awkward pressure on people who are perfectly happy in their friendships, too.
This. This so much. It drives me absolutely bonkers that no TV series can ever have a man and a woman have a bond that doesn't become romantic or sexual before the end of the series. It's also something that drives me crazy about a lot of gender-swap fanfic and stuff like that in fandom. Because two guys could never be attracted to one another, but as soon as one of them is a girl, then there's no way they couldn't be attracted to one another. :|

That would be awesome! You really don't see a lot of that in dramas, so I'd be interested.

[xanithofdragons.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the best romance definitely happens when there are other things driving the characters' decisions. (It makes them complex and multi-faceted!)

Yeah, so much of gender-swap fanfic is just... kind of half-heartedly or poorly done to start with, since few people really explore the question of "how would this person be different as a different gender", so when it's obviously done for no other reason than to turn something into romance, it's just :|. Not fooling anybody.

It's really weird and sad how rare good female friendships can be even in fiction targeted at women!

[faded-lace.livejournal.com]

I agree so much with all of this. It's really refreshing to find someone who feels the same way as me! XD

It really is sad how rare good female friendships (or shippable female pairs) exist even in fiction targeted at women.

[1111-am.livejournal.com]

I think a lot of times dramas can be a hit or a miss for me because of the sucky relationship building in them. What drives me bonkers is when there's ALWAYS some sort of love triangle going on and they always seem to throw the two who do not go together with each other because it's ~*~FATE~*~. Ugh. Anyways, yep, I can definitely agree with what you said about the relationship Seiji had with his parents in Freeter, Ie wo Kau. I also thought his sister's relationship with both their parents was interesting. I think parent-child relationships can sometimes be a bit iffy in how they get portrayed in dramas. Like, sometimes they can be a bit too cliché or generic or something and not really explored and the parents' role gets shoved to the background. It definitely depends on the drama though too. Like in 1 Litre of Tears I loved both those parents. That whole drama was pretty family oriented though. I remember crying at the scene where Aya tried calling her mom and had trouble dialing the phone and her mom's mother instincts kicked in and she felt something was wrong and she drove to go see her :(

It's been a really long time since I've watched it so I can't remember if the relationship eventually turned into a romantic one, but I liked the relationship that developed in Kimi wa Petto. Granted I kind of thought the premise of their relationship was weird starting out, I liked how honest Momo and Sumiere could be with each other. He saw more to her than just that strong-willed, independent, cold person everyone else viewed her as and she was someone who pushed and encouraged him with his dancing. I also liked the friendships in jdramas like Nobuta wo Produce and Orange Days. The sibling relationship between Ryo's character and Erika's in Ryuusei no Kizuna was interesting too. There was a couple scenes where I was genuinely confused if he had feelings for her since she wasn't actually blood-related to him, but I think overall he viewed her as his sister and thank god nothing came of it. Aww I need to start watching more dramas again. I think the last one I saw was Boys on the Run in 2012 D:

I think besides just the male/female relationships it's interesting to look at same sex ones too when talking about non-romantic ones, because those kind of friendships and stuff can be just as important and have just as big of an influence on our lives as the romantic ones. Okay, so not a jdrama, but in Friends I love the friendships that all the guys have (especially Joey and Chandler) and all the girls have (Monica and Rachel). Like you can see just how SUPER close they are and how much they mean to each other and in some cases they're closer to them than they are their actual siblings and stuff. I also really love the sort of relationship that Sherlock and Watson have in Elementary and I will start smashing things if the show's writers ever decide to *spice things up* for ratings and try having them hook up.

[xanithofdragons.livejournal.com]

It's really sad when I have a drama I like and I think, "You would be so perfect if not for this unnecessary, illogical romantic subplot problem you have over here." I should probably watch more family-oriented drama, since I've liked some of the ones I've watched a lot, although I will have to get the tissues ready (but honestly I end up crying with most dramas ^^;).

I really love Kimi wa Petto. It's my favorite romance drama, and since I was also thinking of making a list of dramas with romantic stories that I thought were done well or at least done in an original way.

Yes! Same-sex friendships are really important too! I was thinking about making another list with dramas with female friendships I liked a lot. I tend to be very wary of gender-swap retellings because I'm worried they're doing it to make the relationship more romantic or whatever, and ugh, heteronormativity. If they want to make characters' relationships romantic, they can just make them romantic with the original genders.

[1111-am.livejournal.com]

Oooh I'd be interested in reading those lists if you decide to do ones for dramas you think had good romantic stories or good female friendships. I just (literally last night lol) started watching the drama Sunao ni Narenakute and I'm loving the friendship between Haru and Peach and how those girls got each other's backs.

[justironic.livejournal.com]

IS was so good. ♥

In Ashita no Joe, I found both Joe and Shiraki (Youko) interesting. But maybe more because of their own backgrounds, than their interactions, perhaps, so maybe it doesn't count. :x I love that movie, though.

The relationships in Ataru, are very interesting, imo. It was completely without romance, and it was so good. It's like they form a bond, and (probably because of the disability) it's just a friendship. But you also see how much Maiko cares for him, and that (spoiler alert) towards the end, he really means a lot to her.

There's a movie called Goth, which is about two teenagers, a girl and a boy, and their relationship... is odd. It was even hard to tell if they actually friends or not. Either way, it's a very interesting movie.^^;;

And then there's Last Friends, with a lot of romantic feelings within friendships, but no actual romance. I really like how they ended that drama.

I also thought of Tsumi to batsu, but to be honest I can't remember... I think the main characters never actually had any romantic feelings for each other, but I can't promise anything. Their relationship was... a bit different.


I'll mention one that's two males in a friendship too, heh. Mahoro ekimae bangaichi. Two men, of which one likes to hint that they're actually romantically involved (in front of customers) while the other denies it over and over. Because they're really aren't, but at the same time, if they were, you wouldn't be too surprised. Their dynamics are really fun to watch (not to mention it's a fantastic drama) :D


I'm sure there's more, I just can't come to think of any. u_u;

[xanithofdragons.livejournal.com]

Ataru's disability really made for interesting relationship development in that drama. It was nice.

The relationship in Mahoro ekimae bangaichi sounds really cute. ^^